Wearing Someone Else's Shoes: A 2020 Reflection
“Put yourself in their shoes.” How often did we hear that suggestion growing up? If your experience is similar to mine, we heard it a lot. And we heard it as a call for compassion, empathy.
Compassion and empathy are incredible qualities to uphold as human beings; potent and, it could be said, necessary to a socially fulfilling life. What happens, though, when we overstep those qualities?
Wearing others’ shoes
Prompt four of A 2020 Reflection asks:
"How many other peoples' shoes have I worn in 2020? What purpose did it serve?"
Enumerating the number of people whose shoes I’ve worn temporarily would take me a month of Sundays, as the saying goes.
At one point or another during a session, I’m bound to find myself in my client’s shoes both from the compassion/empathy level and the energetic level. That’s how I’m guided to work, so that I might reflect back to them what I sense.
This prompt and its questions aren’t about temporary shoe wearing a la my sessions. They’re about prolonged shoe wearing that hurts, making it nearly impossible to help.
From that perspective, well…
I’ve worn plenty and I’m still wearing some.
Those I’ve worn this year include:
nurses and doctors caring for COVID-19 sufferers
people grieving loved ones lost to COVID-19
owners of small businesses
people who’ve lost their jobs due to the pandemic
students necessarily learning from home
Those I’m still wearing include:
people grieving loved ones lost to COVID-19
owners of small businesses
The purpose it served and is serving
For the larger grouping, the main purpose was compassion and empathy. However…
True confessions here that I can very easily take on other people’s plights as though they’re my own and get myself all worked up on their behalf.
The thing about getting all worked up is, that’s my ego taking the reins and then willfully releasing the reins while clinging to the mane of the horse.
And the thing about that horse is, it’s galloping out of control and with no regard for perils such as low-hanging branches, dangerous ground and too-close-for-comfort cliffs.
That sort of behavior doesn’t help anyone - least of all the people that most need it. It’s too overwhelming.
There’s no purpose there, at all.
What will be most helpful, at this point, is for me to step out of their shoes (even though they may be very similar to my own - I see you, owners of small businesses) with great intention and take constructive action as guided.
Blessed be.
